There Goes Logic
by riyaaanu
Summary: L loves logic. But what happens when it came flying out of the window?


**There Goes Logic**

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L was a highly intelligent man. He believed that logic and anything pertaining to the mind and how it works were his expertise. For every occurrence, there is a cause; everything in the whole universe has its own reason and logical explanation; whether the said reason is farfetched or not, still it is a reason, therefore it is acceptable.

Take religion for example. He never believed in any, as L deducted long ago that religion exists to answer man's constant need for 'divine' guidance, to have the assurance that some holy entity was watching out for them, forgiving them of their sins, and to have an All-Powerful being to point finger at when life throws a tantrum on them. L believed that religion, with all its idealism and grandeur, exists to benefit a man according to his wants and needs.

Logic makes the world go round, and for L, everything that is beyond reasonable is unreal and unnatural; it can even be just a figment of man's lively creative mind.

That being said, it was no wonder that L, the greatest detective the world had ever known, was completely disturbed as he sat in his usual manner on an upturned bucket in a broom closet devoid of any light except for the thin space that separates the door and the floor.

He blinked owlishly thrice, willing his eyes to adjust in the darkness. Since he was used to working at night with only his monitor as his source of light, it wasn't long before his eyes adapted to the blackness of the room.

"Is staying in this broom closet part of your plan to 'surprise' Misa-san, Raito-kun?"

The teen in question shifted uncomfortably. The detective mused that the younger man must have been in a more uncomfortable position than he was in. At least L was able to sit. As far as he could make out in the darkness, Raito seemed to have accidentally wedged himself between a nasty smelling mop and a bundle of feathery duster.

Raito sighed audibly. "No, Ryuuzaki. This is certainly not the surprise I had planned for Misa."

"Then, may I ask what we are doing in a broom closet? Surely you didn't bring me here in the dark where you can kill people without me knowing, do you?"

"I certainly didn't know your broom closets have automatic locks." L could almost feel the heated glare of the younger man. "And I am not Kira, Ryuuzaki."

"Yes, I thought you'd say that. Then, if that isn't the case, are you perhaps a closet homosexual man with a secret interest on me?"

"...God, Ryuuzaki! That's just utterly disgusting."

"Oh. Well, that's a relief. I thought you'd say you are, and that might pose a problem for us, seeing as I can't release you from this chain anytime soon."

"Where did you even get that horrifying idea? ...Oh. Unless you are the one with the homosexual tendencies, seeing as you were the one who insisted on chaining us together."

"You are under suspicion of being a demented mass murderer with god-complex, so naturally, I need to observe you closely." L nibbled on the pad of his thumb, flexing his toes on the edge of the upturned bucket. "And, I remember correctly that it was you who pushed me in this broom closet in the first place. But you don't have to concern yourself with my sexual tendencies, because I simply no have time nor patience for such."

"I certainly didn't do it on purpose. I panicked, Ryuuzaki, so you can't really blame me for all of this."

"My. Raito-kun's perfect image was busted just by simply seeing his girlfriend on the other end of a corridor." L had to admit, he was enjoying making the other prodigy flustered. "Hm. I wonder why you avoid Misa-san like a plague. Most guys would kill just to be in your shoes."

Raito fidgeted once more, he seemed to be pushing something away in a very irate manner. "Well. I'm not 'most guys'. I'd kill just to get out of these shoes. And I could ask you the same question, why you're giving Matsuda-san more than enough 'day-offs' and 'field works'... I'm sure one of these days he'd notice and ask you about it."

L studied his companion's shadowy outline thoughtfully. "I could find better usage of Matsuda-kun's skills in the field."

A scoff. "Yeah, like his ability to hold more than four shopping bags filled with sweets in one hand, and several boxes of donuts with the other."

"Yes. Very useful ability... Without which, the case would stand to a nil."

Raito released an audible sigh. "You're impossible, Ryuuzaki."

L drew his knees close to his chest. He could feel a weird sense of claustrophobia setting in on him. He was not claustrophobic in nature. He simply wasn't used spending his time in an enclosed space. Being suddenly pushed into one was enough to trigger his constant need for personal space. He knew he had to get out quickly. He chewed on his thumb harder.

"Even so, Raito-kun did not deny that he was a homosexual."

Silence greeted him, as a dark killing intent filled the room. L could vaguely feel that it was coming from his companion.

"You..."

"Hm?"

"You are truly..."

"There's no need to thank me Raito-kun, being your friend, I assure you that my opinion of you have not completely changed. Only I have to be wary at times--"

"--A complete idiot."

That made L pause. "Why do you say so?"

"Given my reaction to your comment would make any sane, normal human being would say my answer is 'NO'."

"Ah, but you forget who you are dealing with, Raito-kun."

"Yeah, I guess 'sane' and 'normal' doesn't really apply to you then, ne Ryuuzaki?"

L pulled his thumb from his lips with a soft 'pop' and instead tapped his chin thoughtfully with his index finger. "No, I'm as normal and sane as anyone, but I also happen to know exactly both sanity and insanity to tell the difference, unlike everybody else. Instead of studying the obvious, I look what lies under your words and actions."

He could almost hear the wheels turning in the other youth's mind as he considered his next response. "And my actions suggest what?"

"That you are still in denial of what you truly are. As I've said before, no matter what you are, Raito-kun, homosexual or Kira, you're my only friend and it's not about to change anytime soon," he paused, looking over at the strangely slouched form of the usually dignified teen. He could almost feel the piercing glares of Raito. "Although, I really had to be more careful now, as you're just probably faking being homosexual for me to remove the chain from the awkwardness of it."

Raito sneered suddenly. "Yeah, and what about you, Ryuuzaki? You didn't deny anything either. You only said you have no time or patience for your 'sexual tendencies'. And what would those tendencies might be, Ryuuzaki?"

L had to admit he was taken aback at that. He never thought of himself of anything at all. Logic stated that biologically, he was a male, and that was all that mattered to him. He simply hasn't experienced attraction to anyone in his whole life, probably because of his extremely unique lifestyle and job. The strongest pull he had ever experienced so far was with -

With eyes wide and wonder in his voice, L slowly spoke. "Raito-kun?"

Raito, who had used L's silence to push the offending mop away from his face, sighed exasperatedly. "What?"

"I think I just came up with a realization."

"Realization?"

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

"Well?"

"I think I'm gay."

It was obvious that Raito wasn't completely listening as he said, "Oh, that's good. You finally---wait. WHAT?!"

L stood and approached the teen who, in the gloom, looked completely aghast. "And you know what, Raito-kun?" he asked deliberately slow as he approached.

"W-what?! R-ryuuzaki. This isn't funny!"

"I'm not trying to be. And I really want to tell you this for a long time now, I just didn't realize it sooner."

Raito shrunk back to the spot between the duster and the mop at the approach of the detective. "I've got a feeling I don't want to know. Ever," the younger man muttered edgily, watching L's approach with extreme wariness. "Stop it, Ryuuzaki."

"Ah, but where's the fun in that?" L reached out and placed his arms between Raito's face, effectively trapping the brunette. "Raito-kun "

"!" Raito's eyes had gotten as big as saucers as L lowered his face closer to the paling, struggling teen.

"I think I'm in--" Lower...

"Ryuuzaki, *goddamit*!"

"Raito-kun... I'm in lov--"

"DAMMIT! I'M NOT KIRA!!!"

L stopped, his nose two inches from Raito's. Too close for his comfort. Terribly close. He stepped backwards and latched a thumb between his teeth. "I thought you'd break sooner than that, Raito. It's a wonder why you let me get past your defenses so quickly. You'd reacted too slowly."

"SCREW YOU!"

L deadpanned. "No, thank you. If I'd know you'd be swaying that way, Raito-kun, I'd rather chain myself to Matsuda-kun."

Raito's eyes were not used to darkness, unlike L, so he blindly took a step forward to launch a punch to the detective. L saw it coming and turned to dodge. Only to step on a floor wax bottle and went sprawling to the ground, yanking Raito with him as he fell. Their heads smashed against each other, making them both grunt in pain before, purely by accident, the unexpected happened.

Both of them froze.

Just then, the door slid open, revealing Misa. Her look went from 'I'm-extremely-worried-for-my-Raito-kun', from 'am-I-seeing-what-I'm-seeing?', and 'what-in-freakin-hell?'. That, combined with the look of utter chagrin in Raito's face as he crawled quickly away, would have sent the detective in peals of laughter. Not that he would, really, but still.

But for now, L simply looked up at the mortified expression of the girl.

"There is a perfectly logical explanation for this, Misa-san."

Eyes wide, Misa took a step backwards and collapsed on her knees, a slender manicured hand rose to cover her blood red lips. Seeing as Raito was currently opening and closing his mouth soundlessly like a fish out of the water, L knew he had to try again.

"Misa-san--"

It was too late.

"AIIIIIEEEEEE!!! I KNEW IT! RYUUZAKI-SAN IS TRULY A CLOSET PERVERT!!!"

L watched sadly as logic flew out of the window as the young actress-model relentlessly shrieked about 'pervert detectives ravishing her Raito-kun' and his prodigy of a partner continued to imitate a dying fish.

Truly, logic makes the world go round, and for L, everything that was beyond reasonable was unreal and unnatural.

In this case, unnatural was an understatement.

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**A/N:**

AHAHAHA! I had fun with that one... (-,-) Sorry I can't really stop making fun of very yaoi like incidents between L and Raito and turn them into a not-so-yaoi.

Again, I respect others' opinions and preferences. I just happened to like friendship/rivalry fics than yaoi ones

Thank you for reading! Please drop me a line or two on what you think of this story thanks!

EDITED.


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